How To Succeed: If You Always Do What You’ve Always Done, You’ll Always Be Who You’ve Always Been
The other day Optimised’s Matt Brereton-Patel was at the dentist, talking to the dental technician.
She had made a few New Year’s resolutions and one of them was to get to the gym four times a week, get toned and fit. She confessed she’d been no times last week and twice this week.
If that sounds all too familiar, not only in January every year, but also every Monday or every time you go to the store, read on…
In this article we’re going to unlock the secrets of the biggest factor that’s driving you away from achieving everything you want, whether it’s better health, financial security or a killer body.
Some folks succeed, others don’t.
At Optimised Personal Wellness we spend a lot of our time developing some of the best and most effective nutritional, exercise and injury rehab programs around.
Or at least, they’re the best out there if you stick to them.
What we see in our personal training gym is that despite people giving up their hard earned money and free time, and knowing that our advice is going to make their lives better and longer, some find it hard to stick to our recommendations, don’t do their injury rehab mobility program every day, and the workout program just seems easier to avoid some days.
Where does our desire to change and succeed come from and how can we break out of our personal mental mould to get success, wealth, health, and happiness?
Setting yourself up for failure before you start
How good do you want to look and feel and how much do you want to look and feel this way? That’s a key question and one you have to ask yourself. What does it mean personally to you?
It’s easy to become bogged down in ideals and thoughts of self perfection on a physical level – and it’s hard to ever achieve these things if you don’t first address your beliefs.
Your beliefs shape your desires and fears, and it is your desires and fears that drive your behaviour.
Just take a second to think about that.
One of the biggest drivers of our behaviour is the often concealed desire to be perfect, which comes from a belief that we are not already so. From the way we look, to the amount of money we earn and our interactions with others, there is often a little voice at the back of our mind saying “you could have done that better”.
This ‘little voice’ is telling you that you are in some way not perfect and have done something wrong. Since perfection as we perceive it is impossible to achieve, we feel like a failure, and we learn to fear failure, even though what we achieved at first was actually something to be proud of. The problem is that believing you’re a failure and fearing failure leads to only one thing: more failure.
And guess what – you’ll always fail because the idea of perfection you’re chasing is not achievable.
It’s listening to this ‘little voice’ and the fear of failure it creates that gets you started on the path to self sabotage before you even got going, and it’s the difference between those who make the most of the programs we put together and those who don’t.
Those who succeed don’t believe they’ll fail, those who fail know they will before they start.
Mirror mirror –
The interesting thing is that all of the great teachers that have come into this world, from Buddha to Jesus, have taught that we are in fact already perfect – it’s just an incomplete perception of ourselves that keeps us from experiencing this feeling of harmony for ourselves and unlocking our true potential.
Did you ever read this poem before?
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn,
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight,
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy,
If a child lives with shame, he learns to be guilty,
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient,
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence,
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate,
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice,
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith,
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like him self,
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.
What did you learn? It’s our experience of the world and our consequent perception of our role in it that creates our beliefs and consequently, our behaviours. Our behaviours, of course, dictate what kind of life we’ll lead – whether we’ll live fulfilled, successful and content, or whether we’ll die unfulfilled and with regrets.
Honesty is always the best policy
Take a few minutes to think about whether your personal ‘little voice’ is setting you up for success or failure.
If it’s failure, it’s up to you to be truly honest with yourself and everyone in your life if you want to change and achieve your undoubted potential.
Harmony and fulfillment come when what you think, feel, say and do are in alignment with each other. Another word for this is honesty, if you are truly honest with yourself and those around you, you will find harmony.
When you’re honest with yourself, you’re in harmony with your goals, and when what you think, feel, say and do is in harmony with your goals, you’ll achieve them.
Banishing the fearful ‘little voice’ and starting on the road to harmony in all you do can only start when you’re honest with yourself in realising that perfection is only an idea that we impose on ourselves. Real perfection is who you really are, not who you pretend to be or think you should be.
Harmony = success, here’s how to start
Surround yourself with people you like and who like you for who you are – and you will feel more harmonious within yourself.
Do things that you enjoy and are interested in – and you will feel more harmonious within yourself.
If you have limiting fears – face and overcome them with honesty – and you will feel greater harmony within yourself.
True confidence (not arrogance and ego) comes from harmony, and harmony comes from enjoying the experience of life, pursuing your desires and satisfying them – your greatest desire is harmony, whether you know it or not – it is what we all want and it is eminently achievable.
To your lean, healthy, optimised future,
Matt & Dee